Sunday, 23 October 2011

Disabled and depressed..:((

Dear reader,,the following is the reality of my life,,which i hate to admit and hesitatingly accept.
i'm a grown 20 yr old,,who cannot do the basic things in life like speaking my name,,my college's name,,interact ,,or to start or hold a conversation,,,i'm a guy who stutters....that's why im lonely and depressed....
Living with stuttering and social phobia is not easy and i wud'nt wish this life for anybody....
But one things for sure,,it is only me who has the power to turn things around,,to be more confident around people,,to accept my stuttering,,,and to be what i want to be...

But it is getting increasingly difficult to stay motivated becuz every stuttering episode destroys my confidence and my self esteem...its like a bullet wound that really hurts but doesnt really kill you.......every time i stutter ..negative thoughts and self doubt enter my mind...and i begin to question if i'm even capable of liveing and coping with the daily stresses of life....

With that being said ,,i'v finally started exercising,,,,just a little aerobics,,,,and i plan to practice progressive muscle relaxation technique in the park in the morning soon....becuz its a moderate panic provoking situation for me.....
Hope the progress made recently is no undone by stuttering....and i continue to gain confidence and raise my self esteem.....so wish me luck dear reader and GOD....:)))))).....:D

"The only thing standing between you and who you want to be is you."

Thursday, 6 October 2011

STEVE JOBS R.I.P

You revolutionized the world of technology and business...symbolized knowledge in motion...captured the imagination of the world....and taught us to follow our dreams and work hard to transform them into reality.....and that nothing is impossible....
You will be missed and remembered for a long time.....

Sunday, 2 October 2011

my favourite tv show of all time..!!

I have a lot of favourites when it comes to tv shows,,like friends,bold and the beautiful,two n a half men,how i met ur mother etc,,,,but according to me ,,the bestest series of all time is none other than DEXTER.I am so fascinated by the its theme,characters and storyline and i just love it.
I find that,except for the serial killing business,i'm similar to dexter,since i'm a stutterer,and a social phobic,i too have no clue as to how i should behave in certain situations or what the hell to say to people,,in order to effectively hide my embarrassing and humiliating defects.

I find it absolutely amazing how he can cope easily in all the social situations in his life and fake feelings of sympathy,calmness,relaxation and being at ease,when clearly he is not.I wish i can somehow learn to hide my stutter and social phobia,and be extremely relaxed around people ,,just like him.

But i really dont have the necessary social skills,,to fake the relaxed behaviour.I'm mostly nervous and short of words around people becuz of the stutter,,and have no idea how to behave in most situations i'm in.I know that if i have the confidence and courage to accept my stutter,i can realize my full potential and achieve all the things that i dream about like,,regular stuff that normal people take for granted..

I know its hard to fake confidence but with practice it can be certainly achieved,,not just in any tv show but in real life as well.