Sunday, 2 October 2011

my favourite tv show of all time..!!

I have a lot of favourites when it comes to tv shows,,like friends,bold and the beautiful,two n a half men,how i met ur mother etc,,,,but according to me ,,the bestest series of all time is none other than DEXTER.I am so fascinated by the its theme,characters and storyline and i just love it.
I find that,except for the serial killing business,i'm similar to dexter,since i'm a stutterer,and a social phobic,i too have no clue as to how i should behave in certain situations or what the hell to say to people,,in order to effectively hide my embarrassing and humiliating defects.

I find it absolutely amazing how he can cope easily in all the social situations in his life and fake feelings of sympathy,calmness,relaxation and being at ease,when clearly he is not.I wish i can somehow learn to hide my stutter and social phobia,and be extremely relaxed around people ,,just like him.

But i really dont have the necessary social skills,,to fake the relaxed behaviour.I'm mostly nervous and short of words around people becuz of the stutter,,and have no idea how to behave in most situations i'm in.I know that if i have the confidence and courage to accept my stutter,i can realize my full potential and achieve all the things that i dream about like,,regular stuff that normal people take for granted..

I know its hard to fake confidence but with practice it can be certainly achieved,,not just in any tv show but in real life as well.

8 comments:

  1. hello dude. I'm from Croatia. Also have the same problems as you do. (i have read a few of your post but i get the picture)
    Im 24 yrs old guy. Finished the faculty of law (i know this sounds weird, i am searching a job right now). Any way, you (or i) are not anything like Dexter. We are not shizoids as he is. We are more in "avoidant personality desorder" zone. Dexter loves to be alone, he hates all social "things". But we, on the other hand, are much different. We would like social interactions but fears of rejections and shame are killig us daily. Dexter has no friends 'cuz he doesn't want that. We certainly do. But we are too much at home dreaming. -------Boris

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  2. hey,
    i thnk ur right about what you said but i was'nt talking about the mental state of dexter or my own , i was talking about his ability to hide his mental state(and what goes on inside him) and appear confident and calm,,and how i would love to do so,,,,ofcourse we r nothing like him...
    And i know about the mental illnesses since i'm a medical student....and i think apart from AvPD,(some)adult stutterers meet the criteria for social anxiety and neurosis as well...

    The only way to be confident is through exposure and unfortunately for stutterers it invloves a lot of public embarassment..:(

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  3. hardest thing is when you are in your world for day and then suddenly you need to speek aloud to anyone outside your family or few best friends. Practice practice practice.... Our thinkig is our greatest enemy. Not people around us, not our stutter problem. Its in: If they hear me stuttering they would think I am an idiot or something.
    When i found my job the hardest thing will be first month. After you spoke to hundred of people things gonna be much easier. Yes...You would stutter. Yes, they will remember you as a guy who stutter (becouse is easiest thing to remember)... But we can make that they rembember us like stutterers, but good men, trusty, respect us as job coworkers, as friends. It's all in the state of mind. Don't worry about your past life. I am lonely wolf myself. We just need a push, and a job enviroment is the best thing for that. Too much communication and your mind would forget to frighten you as it's now doing.

    Dexter needs to hide who he is. (he is a monster). We can't hide it, albeit we don't need and shouldn't hide it. People won't think it's a problem if we handle it right. If you stutter and have dexter's face when he's giving donuts you are cool dood. It's hardest to stutter when you are young... Kids are like monster dexter is killig :-D

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  4. The thing i hate the most is that i can never really speak what i really want to speak..u know..trying to keep my sentences short...assuming that others will understand the rest of it...
    and that i have to think so much about how to say a word in fairly normal situations for others...
    i wish i could be free like others...
    but ur absolutely right...we have to speak our mind regardless of how people see us....eventually they'll see us as good workers,,friends,,relatives,,neighbours etc....

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  5. "trying to keep my sentences short" -- sounds like me. But it's a winner situation when we start to relax. We always think about hiding stuttering which is emotional very hard and you lose every time. Been there done that.... Its much easier when you know that that know what your problem is. Then your sentences are longer and longer. You don't even think about it. Sometimes you hear yourself stammering on a word. And move along.

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  6. yes,,ur right,,in the end ,,you know ,,life is too short,,you gotta live it as best as you can,and give it ur best shot,,,otherwise you'll end up having nothing but regrets..
    We must move on from our stuttering mindset..

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  7. But its only in theory :-D
    When you get to "scary" situation you (and I) forget about this. We have to push ourself in conversations, push ourself to stay in conversations even if we stutter.
    I hate myself when i start to talk then suddenly big amount of fear tells me to shut up :-D Cant think of what to say when i always thinking HOW to say something.

    It's not cool when you are ready for mental institution. (first we talk to ourselves and then we say something aloud).

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  8. That is a big challenge for me too...whenever i'm around people..there's this 'fear' that is telling me to avoid the 'danger'.....it's just cruel on u.....i can never be in the moment...always looking nervous,,keeping my guard up,,,being self conscious ...its terrible......
    But u know there is still light at the end of the tunnel.....with practice...much can be achieved.....
    And if my mind goes blank i got certain topics like the weather,,or omething about them.....etc...but i can never succeed in having a normal conversation becuz of the 'fear'....

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